The Real Surreal Life

A little over an hour ago I was saying goodbye to the girl I am dating when I heard a car accident nearby. As I walked up the street towards my car I noticed the accident was right at the intersection (Vista and Fountain) that I was headed to. Although there didn't seem to be any ambulances, I could still see flashes of light that appeared to be coming from an ambulance. As I walked closer to the accident it became apparent that the lights were not, in fact, those from an ambulance, but rather . . . drum roll please . . . from paparazzi. The crash scene was peppered with these guys. This whole scene just didn't make any sense to me: There were two cars, that I could tell, that were involved in the accident - one small, black hatchback, VW golf type car and one Porsche Cayenne (an SUV), along with two other cars surrounding the scene that were either almost involved in the accident or just there to help - not too sure. About 4 guys and 1 girl were trying to pull another girl out of the small black car while, get this, the paparazzi flashed away and filmed the scene! Honestly, it took me a few minutes to put together what was happening here. I was so confused - was this a film shoot and this was a controlled accident? No, couldn't be - there wasn't enough crew for that sort of shot. What the hell are all these cameras here for??? Was this a reality tv show? Then I realized the simple answer was paparazzi. There had to have been about 6 guys snapping photos and about 4 guys filming the scene with video cameras. As I tried to comprehend the situation, the paparazzi just became more bold as time went on, leaning in closer and closer into these poor people's faces, flashing bright lights into their eyes, including the victim they were trying to help! I really could not believe this was happening! I couldn't believe that the paparazzi had the selfishness to continue bombarding these people even after they just got in an accid- wait! And that is exactly when I realized that it was most likely the paparazzi that caused this whole thing! I've never had so much disdain for these people and their "work". So, I decided to do what I could to help and got into the paparazzi's face, yelling at them and berating them for their lack of integrity, as well as, hopefully, ruining their shots. Meanwhile, the police arrived on the scene. This, of course, did not stop the paparazzi, but at this point I think I had done a fine job of fending them off. Although I never ended up being able to tell who the main victim was, who was pulled out of the car, I am sure that one of the prime targets of the paparazzi was Orlando Bloom. I overheard Orlando tell the police that there was at least one other car involved, and that it was paparazzi who were in the other cars. The paparazzi, it turns out, did indeed instigate this whole situation.

Funny thing is, just last week I ended up as a VIP guest at Area, a nightclub in West Hollywood that apparently the cast from MTV's The Hills frequents, among other celebrities. As I walked out of that club, I will admit that I felt special with all the paparazzi around (I later found out Mark Wahlberg was in there with us). I felt, this must be what it's like to be famous - not as bad as I thought. Tonight changed my opinion for sure. I feel bad for celebrities. They have no peace in public - not even in times of dire, even life-threatening, need. Odd thing is, their jobs are to entertain the public - to make our lives more enjoyable, and the thanks we offer back is "Entertain us in your personal lives too!", thereby ruining their lives to a certain extent. Moral of the story: please leave these people alone, they also deserve a certain amount of privacy.